YEA Lesson Library
Forgive and Forget
About This Lesson
Using a real life example and the parable of the unforgiving servant, this lesson teaches the importance of forgiving those who have hurt us.
Scriptures
Psalm 51
Psalm 103
Proverbs 24:17-29
Matthew 5:7, 40-48
Matthew 18:21-35
Matthew 18:32-35
Mark 4:22
Mark 11:25-26
John 8:3-11
Romans 12:14-21
Colossians 3:9-17
Words to Know
RENEGE - To go back on one’s word
The Lesson
Butch awakened to one of those beautiful August mornings in the hills of Kentucky. There was something very special about sleeping in one of his grandma’s beds. Her beds were higher than his own, and the quilts strangely gave the right amount of cozy warmth to help him sleep deeply through the night. Waking up was always an adventure. Once the aroma of breakfast filled the large Cape Cod house, no one could sleep a moment longer. Butch had to get up and rush to the kitchen. Grandma knew that farm workers needed to eat heartily, and Butch was never one to disappoint her.
At the end of the kitchen hung a small cage for Grandma’s newest prized possession – Joey, the parakeet. Joey provided a great deal of enjoyment for Grandma as she went about her endless tasks. He would sing to her, and she would whistle a tune back to him.
Butch loved to spend his summers on the farm where he could help with the hay baling, fish for bass and crappie, eat green apples fresh from the tree and listen to the farmers as they sat around the pot bellied stove at the General Store. About the only thing that really bothered Butch was the repeated daily admonition from Grandma to be careful not to leave the back door open. She had a strong feeling that animals should never be confined completely – they needed some freedom, too. So Joey was often allowed to fly freely throughout the house.
The inevitable day came too soon for anyone. Butch forgot that Joey was flying free. He didn’t even notice that when he went out the back door, Joey flew out with him, never to be seen again.
Grandma had been crying when he got back from the creek ready to clean his catch for the morning. It was obvious that she was trying to restrain her emotions. As soon as she told him that Joey was missing, Butch knew what had happened. It was history now, and could never be corrected. He had hurt one of the people who meant the most to him – and all he could do was say, “I’m sorry,” and that felt terribly inadequate. Grandma’s sadness seemed to last forever, but she willingly forgave Butch, and her forgiveness was complete. She never chose to make Butch repay what he had cost her, nor did she ever demean him for his thoughtless deed by saying, “I told you. . .” Her love for Butch was greater than anything he could do to hurt her.
But what if Butch hurt her again, maybe by breaking a family heirloom? Do you think his grand- mother would have forgiven him again? Just how clumsy and irresponsible could Butch have been and still have his grandmother’s forgiveness?
Peter asked Jesus that question in Matthew 18:21-35. Jesus replied by saying that we should forgive a person seventy times seven, that is to say unlimited times. Then He proceeded with a story comparing the Kingdom of Heaven with a king who thought it was time to get his books in order and bring them up to date. A debtor, who was brought before the king, owed him millions of dollars, but couldn’t afford to pay the debt. The king gave orders for the man, his wife, and his children to be sold as slaves. This was devastating news for this man. So he fell on his face in the dust before the king and begged for mercy and patience and promised to repay the money. The king was filled with pity for the man and released him and forgave his debt.
The forgiven man’s contrition was soon forgotten. Another man owed this forgiven debtor $2,000. So he hurried on over to see him. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded that he be paid instantly. This man was also devastated and fell down before the forgiven debtor pleading for mercy. He promised that he would pay him back if he would be patient. The forgiven debtor wouldn’t wait and had the man who owed him just $2,000 thrown into jail until he could pay up.
Do you think the forgiven debtor got by with this most unmerciful behavior? Of course not! Mark 4:22 says, “For what ever is hidden is meant to be discovered, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open”(NIV). You can count on it, sooner or later evil or wrong doings will be found out. So what happened to this unforgiving man? The man’s friend went to the king and told him just how unmerciful the forgiven man was.
The king sent for the man he had once forgiven and said, “You evil-hearted wretch! Here I forgave you all that tremendous debt, just because you asked me to – shouldn’t you have mercy on others, just as I had mercy on you? Then the angry king sent the man to the torture chamber until he had paid every last penny due” (Matthew 18:32-34 TLB).
Why do we want to see the other person pay the full penalty for his wrong, yet we want mercy? Why is it that we say we forgive a person, and before we know it we’re back chewing on the problem? Can you renege on your forgiveness? What are the consequences of being unmerciful and harboring bitter attitudes against those who have harmed us? Jesus says, “So shall my heavenly Father do to you if you refuse to truly forgive your brother” (verse 35). Strong stuff!
Just like Butch, we all have been guilty of hurting people, whether intentional or not. Each time we commit a sin, against people or against God, we hurt someone. The Bible tells us what we should do and what we should not do. God’s way is the way of forgiveness – complete and unconditional forgiveness – regardless of what the other person may have done. Forgive is a verb – it takes action!
Student Prayer
Awesome God,
You are so loving, so merciful and so forgiving. While we were yet sinners you gave your Son as a ransom for our sins. Help me each day to follow Jesus’ example and to forgive others completely and unconditionally.
It’s in Jesus’ name I pray.
Amen.
Daily Devotions
Sunday: Proverbs 24:17-29
Monday: Matthew 5:7, 40-48
Tuesday: Mark 11:25-26
Wednesday: Psalm 103
Thursday: Romans 12:14-21
Friday: Psalm 51
Saturday: Colossians 3:9-17
Objectives
At the end of this lesson, students will be able to:
1. Explain the consequences of an unmerciful and unforgiving spirit.
2. Discuss that Jesus expects us to forgive an unlimited number of times.
3. Illustrate ways to prevent reneging on our forgiveness.
4. Explain the benefits of forgiving others.
Topics & Themes
Forgiveness
Mercy
Parable
Unforgiving Servant
Sin
Materials Needed
Bible, YEA students’ and teacher’s books, attendance and memory verse chart, music player and music tape/CD, songbook, pencils, paper, marker pen, newsprint pad, Living Bible
How to Teach This Lesson
By asking the sequential questions, you will keep the class on track, accomplish the objectives, and have time for every section of the lesson to be completed.
How would you feel if you found your grandmother crying because you had accidentally let her parakeet out? How easy would it be for you to admit that you were the guilty culprit? If someone let your bird or pet out, would you generously forgive him as Butch’s grandma did? Would you have no feelings of animosity towards the person who let your bird or animal out? Why or why not? When a friend or a sibling keeps on fouling up, how hard is it to completely forgive him? What are some of the easiest words to say when that happens? Write these on the news- print pad. Possible answers are, “How many times do I have to tell you?” “I told you so.” “How can you keep forgetting when I’ve told . . .” And, “How can you be so dumb or careless?”
Do you think it’s excessive for Jesus to expect you to forgive someone seventy times seven? Why or why not? What does that say about what Jesus expects from you? He expects you to forgive unlimited times.
How many times in a week do you think that you hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally, drop the ball or even sin? Get the kids to make a stab at a figure and write it on the pad.
Does Jesus say, I’ll forgive you 70 times, but 71 times is just too much? Ask one of the students to read Isaiah 1:18-20. How forgiving is God? What are the conditions? Does He renege on His forgiveness or carry a grudge against you? Have one of the students read aloud Psalm 103:8-16 from the Living Bible. Ask: Then what have we learned about God’s forgiveness from this Scripture? List these attributes on the pad – merciful, tender toward those who don’t deserve it, slow to anger, full of kindness and love, never holds grudges, doesn’t remain angry forever, He’s like a father to us – tender and sympathetic to those who reverence Him, He understands that we’re but human beings.
Look at the Activity in the students’ lesson. Are any of these things missing that should be added to your Plan of Action? Give them a minute to add any of these to their Plan of Action.
How did you feel about the man who was forgiven millions of dollars and then demanded immediate payment from the fellow who only owed him $2,000? Do you think he might just have thought that the king would never learn about this? What does God say will be the consequences if you truly refuse to forgive your brother or someone who harms you? God will not forgive you if you refuse to forgive others (Matthew 6:15).
It may be easy to just mouth the words, “I forgive you.” But why do we find it so difficult to forgive and forget? Ask one of the students to read Jeremiah 17:9. Do you think your heart or mind plays games with you sometimes? How do you think it does it? Our ego wants to protect our self image.
What are the benefits of forgiving and forgetting? List those on the pad. Freedom from grudges, freedom to love, and freedom to get on with our lives.
Teacher-Directed Activity
Give each student a piece of paper and let them have five minutes to write a brief scenario of the worst offense that has happened to them. They are not to use the person’s name or give details which will identify the problem to the extent that other students will recognize the person. Now shuffle the papers and give one to everyone ensuring that no one has the same story they wrote. Give two minutes for the students to read the story they were given and think about what Jesus would do if someone treated Him this way. Ask for a volunteer to read his or her story and tell how Jesus would react to this situation. Now ask the class for Scriptures to support this solution. Ask for another volunteer to do the same as the first person. If you get no volunteers, go around the room and get each student to read his story and give a Christ-like solution.
Song
“Change My Heart, Oh God” is on page 53 of The Group Songbook.
Closing Prayer
Ask one of the students to lead in prayer, asking for God’s help to forgive and forget.
Printable Pages
