YEA Lesson Library
Winners Forgive
About This Lesson
Based on the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, this lesson teaches the importance of forgiving others when they’ve done something wrong to us.
Scriptures
Psalm 103:1-22
Isaiah 55:6-9
Matthew 6:7-15
Matthew 18:21-35
Luke 6:35-38
John 8:3-11
Acts 5:29-32
Ephesians 4:32
I John 1:1-9
Words to Know
OSTRACIZE - to exclude, by general consent, from society, privileges, etc.
BLATANT - brazen, offensive
GRUDGE - the feeling of ill will or resentment because of a real or imagined wrong done to you
FORGIVE - to grant a pardon to a person who has wronged you
The Lesson
The beautiful model, Tyra Banks, tells a story in her book, Tyra’s Beauty Inside & Out. When she was in the sixth grade she hung out with a group of cliquish girls. Tyra was the leader of the pack. Once in a while a girl in this cool clique would be told she could no longer be a part of their group. Invariably, the dismissed girl would find her way to befriend Sally, a very religious girl who wore her skirts longer than any in Tyra’s group.
She wasn’t popular, but she was very pleasant and always had a smile on her face. Because she wasn’t stylish and cool, she didn’t have friends who would even join her for lunch, except when another girl in Tyra’s clique found herself friendless. Then each girl would gravitate to Sally until they were allowed back into the pack. At that point, the girl would drop Sally like a hot potato.
Even though Tyra was leader of her pack, one day she found herself being thrown out of her own clique. Her groupies couldn’t stand her bossiness. After Tyra was ostracized, she too found her way to Sally and they became best friends.
She may have justified her actions by saying, “I don’t want to be with the popular kids, I hate them, they stink, and they’re stuck up.” After a month or so the clique invited Tyra back in the group again. So she left her long-skirted, smiling friend and became one of the “in” crowd again. But Sally didn’t allow herself to have any hard feelings. She kept on smiling because she could see a larger, more important picture. She quickly forgave all the girls who only needed her friendship when others didn’t want it. Do you think she should have forgiven them? There’s a story in the Bible about this type of thing.
Peter came to Jesus one day and asked, “ ‘Sir, how often should I forgive a brother who sins against me? Seven times?’ ‘No!’ Jesus replied, ‘seventy times seven!’” Hum, that’s 490 times! Maybe Sally did the right thing after all.
As Jesus continued to talk with Peter, He explained that His Kingdom can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date. To accomplish this, he brought in a man who owed him ten million dollars. But the man didn’t have that much money and couldn’t pay his debt. So the king ordered the man, his wife, and his children to be sold as slaves and all of his earthly possessions to be sold as well.
This was probably the most difficult time in this man’s life, losing absolutely everything he had. So he fell on his face in the dust and said, “Oh, sir, be patient with me and I will pay it all.” Seeing such a humble and contrite spirit, the king showed mercy, forgave his debt and released him. But his humility and contrition didn’t last long.
He left the presence of the king and went directly to a man who owed him only $2000 and grabbed him by the throat and demanded immediate payment. This man fell down before him, as he had done with the king, and begged for a little time to get the money together. The man assured him that he would pay him the $2000. But the man who had been forgiven a much larger debt by the king wouldn’t wait to be paid. He had the man arrested and thrown in jail until his debt was completely paid.
Such blatant behavior is rarely kept a secret. You guessed it! The king found out and he called for the man that he had forgiven. He said some rather stern things to him. “ ‘You evil-hearted wretch! Here I forgave you all that tremendous debt, just because you asked me to. Shouldn’t you have mercy on others, just as I had mercy on you?’
“Then the angry king sent the man to the torture chamber until he had paid every last penny due. So shall my heavenly Father do to you if you refuse to truly forgive your brother.”
Wow! Look at the consequences for not forgiving someone. You just don’t get by with this kind of attitude. Tyra reaped consequences for her behavior and was kicked out of her cool chic cocoon. However, her consequences were not as severe as the unforgiving man’s. But neither was her infraction as bad. Tyra came to see how wrong she was and said, “Even after the way I abandoned her, when I’d see Sally in the halls at school, she always smiled. I now realize that she was wise beyond her years and understood that I was too weak to break away from the pack and stand on my own. . . like her.”
Sally realized that the consequences of bitterness, anger, and hatred would eat her alive. She forgave and let it go without holding any grudges. Sally’s beautiful attitude allowed her to keep on smiling. In the end, Tyra respected Sally for being wise beyond her years and saw the real character she had.
Forgiving 490 times may seem like a tall order. But this 490 times really means an unlimited number of times. Forgiveness is freedom. It allows you to sleep at night and to get a life of your own. It puts a radiant smile on your face as it did on Sally’s. It wins the respect of others. But more important, it wins the respect of God.
Student Prayer
Loving Father,
Thank you for the beautiful story about Sally. She turned her religion into a positive thing by smiling, befriending people who were rejected by others, and then forgiving them when she was rejected by them. That example reflects Jesus Christ in her life. Help me to follow it each day, forgiving others without holding any grudges.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.
Daily Devotions
Sunday: Luke 6:35-38
Monday: Acts 5:29-32
Tuesday: Matthew 6:7-15
Wednesday: I John 1:1-9
Thursday: Matthew 18:21-35
Friday: Isaiah 55:6-9
Saturday: Psalm 103:1-22
Objectives
At the end of this lesson, students will be able to:
1. Define forgiveness.
2. Explain what it means not to hold a grudge.
3. Discuss the things Sally gained by having a beautiful attitude.
4. Expound upon the consequences of not forgiving and the benefits of forgiving without holding any grudges.
5. State four things they should do when someone wrongs them.
Topics & Themes
Forgiveness
Holy Conduct
Jesus, His Ministry
Parables
Unforgiving Servant
How to Teach This Lesson
Open the class with prayer. Allow the students a few minutes to use their Bibles and YEA books to develop a skit about the unforgiving man and act it out as a play. Your assistance may be needed in helping them follow the Scripture and organize a skit with scripts. Encourage them to use their imaginations.
Debrief - Ask: How did you feel about the man and his entire family being sentenced to be sold into slavery because he couldn’t pay the ten million dollars he owed? Were you happy when the king forgave him? Why or why not? How did you feel when this same man went straight to another man who owed him less and grabbed him by the throat demanding immediate payment? How did you feel when the king found out how the forgiven man treated the man who owed him money? Ask one of the students to read aloud Luke 17:3. Ask: What does that say to you?
To the torture chamber - Ask: How do you feel about the king sending the unforgiving man to the torture chamber until he had paid every last penny due? Why? Do you remember what follows that statement in your Bible? (“So shall my heavenly Father do to you if you refuse to truly forgive your brother.”) If you don’t forgive someone today, what do you think might be a parallel to the torture chamber? When you’re angry with someone and don’t forgive her, what kinds of thought do you have? (Hateful, envious, or other wrong thoughts.) Do these thoughts torture you or make you happy?
Forgiveness - Ask: What does forgiveness mean to you? Why is it important that you forgive those who wrong you? Ask a student to read Matthew 6:14-15 aloud from The Living Bible. Ask: How important is it to you that God forgives you of your sins? Why? Can you truly forgive and still hold a grudge? Do you think God holds a grudge against you when He has forgiven you of a wrong you’ve done? Why or why not?
Effects of holding a grudge - Ask: What does it do to you when you hold a grudge against someone who has wronged you? How does it benefit you to let loose of that grudge and put the wrong behind you, not ever thinking about it again?
Sally’s benefit - Ask: How did Sally benefit from forgiving and forgetting the wrong of those who rejected her? (She was respected and looked upon as being wise beyond her years. She enjoyed freedom from bitterness, anger, hatred, and self-pity that could have eaten her alive and devoured her time. This is time that could be spent on fun and productive things.)
Steps to take - Let’s see if we can outline some steps to take that will help us when we’ve been wronged. Get the students to come up with several steps and list them on the chalkboard. They should include: forgive, forget about it, put a smile on your face, get on with your life, find fun things to do and ways to help others. Ask: If you do these things do you think you will have more or fewer friends? Why or why not? Do you think Jesus will become a better friend to you? How do you see forgiving those who’ve wronged you as a way to become a winner?
Teacher-Directed Activity
Ask the class how different they think the outcome would have been if the man who was forgiven ten million dollars had written the king a thank you note? Why are thank you notes important? Now have the kids write a thank you note to someone who has forgiven them of a wrong they have done. Remind them that this note gives them an opportunity to connect with the other person and express their warm gratitude. After they have written a thank you note, encourage them to send or take it to that person. Allow the students to discuss their notes if they want to.
REACH Activity
Memory Verse Spotlight
Use a Bible and Bible tools to locate three different Scriptures to refer to when you need guidance in forgiving someone who has offended or hurt you. Write them in your Bible notebook or on note cards for easy reference. Challenge yourself by memorizing at least one of the Scriptures. Search the Scriptures for the story of someone whose life was changed by the power of God’s forgiveness and mercy. Write their story in your Bible notebook and share it with family or class.
Where in the World?
Use a Bible and Bible tools to find out more about the Skull, the place where Jesus was crucified. Write this information in your Bible notebook. A very well known forgiveness Scripture was spoken by Jesus Christ at His crucifixion. He said “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NIV). Jesus was asking His Father to forgive the people who were putting Him to death! All who sin have crucified Jesus. He paid the penalty for our sin and then asked God, the Father, to forgive us. Because of His sacrifice, we have the opportunity for eternal life.
They Did What Back Then?
Read John 19:23-24. What happened to Jesus’ clothing at His crucifixion? Why was this done and what prophecy was fulfilled? Find the answers using your Bible tools and record the information in your Bible notebook.
Making It Mine
Normal human feelings cause you to want to pay back for a wrong done to you. It is a very Christian feeling to have peace because you’ve trusted God to settle accounts. Read Romans 12:17-21. Look specifically at verse 21. Why are we to leave the retribution to God’s care? “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). If we decide to get even, then we’ve been overcome by evil. That’s not our goal! Spend a few minutes thinking about someone who has hurt you (physically or emotionally). If it takes you a long time to come up with a name, good. You probably have given the situation to God. If you can think of one or more people right away, it would be a good idea to spend some time in prayer, asking God to help you forgive that person, to use the situation to bring glory and honor to God, and to be at peace. Also, think about taking the situation to your parents. Talk with them about it. You don’t want to put yourself in danger when someone is hurting you. You just don’t want to get even. Getting counsel from your parents will help you decide how to avoid or resolve a bad situation or help you understand the process of giving it to God.
Worldview Collision
A biblical worldview says it is God’s right and position to avenge a wrong; other worldviews say to pay back evil for evil with a little extra to ensure there’s no repetition of the wrong. Have you ever watched two children playing together? It isn’t very long before one of them does something to irritate, hurt, or embarrass the other. So the second child retaliates. The situation escalates until one child runs to the parent and says, “Joey did such-and-such.” Most parents have heard this so many times, they don’t even take the time to unravel the line back to the original offense. But did you ever stop to consider that going to the parent is just the next step in the retribution escalation? That child is really hoping the parent will spank, yell, or otherwise punish the other. Sometimes that’s what it’s like when we go to God for vengeance. We want God to “get” that other person who wronged us. The reality of the situation is that our sins caused the death of God’s Son. What that other person did to us pales in comparison. Do we really want God to administer punishment for offenses committed?
Song
“Change My Heart, O God” is on page 53 of The Group Songbook.
Closing Prayer
Have the students form a circle and hold hands. Ask for a volunteer to lead in prayer asking God to help them to be forgiving without holding grudges.
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